It's winter.

 What treasure waits within Your scars
This gift of freedom gold can't buy
I bought the world and sold my heart
You traded heaven to have me again.

[Hillsong -Touch the sky]

It's winter here and too many things are happening in my life. New problems that it seems like old ones. I felt lonely and I wanted to give everything up. I didn’t  see myself pulling this time off. I didn’t  want to celebrate happy days, I was gloomy, I missed so much my family. I thought that if I didn’t have my family by my side I didn’t want to celebrate anything. I understood something, part of that family was with me already, so I was blind and I was watching the pain in my other part of my family. God remembers me again something important. I had my family right here, my loving husband will never abandon me but maybe I was who want to be apart from him because of my sadness. I had right reasons, I could celebrate whatever I wanted and that’s what I did. To celebrate my days with him and it was unforgettable and wonderful. I didn’t  think it could be like it was. God tore that veil covering my eyes and I saw it there, smiling me and led me again. 

It was to be a sad Christmas time, I didn’t even think about it. I was surrounded by problems more and more and I was disposed to forget every beautiful day. I was going to pretend that everything was okay, my face was reflecting my bad condition and I was taking everything for granted. After taking a good decision, in my opinion, this Christmas time will be almost perfect also my feelings are changing better and better and the more I think about my situation, the less I care about. What do I have a God for? He’s more powerful and smarter than me. I’d better let myself on his hand and trust more in who knows what is good for me. 

This Christmas time is going to be wonderful. I made new things, getting back things I used to love and not just inside my family, out of them something that I didn’t expect is holding me up. I think I like that. I changed the way I was seeing my life and now I’m seeing everything completely different. I see this month with God’s eyes and it seems something I want to hold always. It’s something that warms my heart. This year is about to finish but I’m starting something new again, something that I want to uphold near me. I’m not going to wish that I could live like this ever, I’m going to work for it, I could get used to this so that I don’t forget this feeling.  I’d rather think that God has something new for me for the next year. I love that and the same time I’m afraid for the unknown.