The gift of living

 Christmas is just around the corner.

Brace yourself, Miss Josephine.

 Reading: I'm trying to finish "Winter" since September

 Listening: Set me free [Casting Crowns]

 Watching: Hallmark Christmas movies.

Recently I was talking with a good friend, her way of living let me think for a long time. I was a bunch of feelings and I wanted to put them in an order so I needed to think about it.  I was happy, sad, angry, disappointed, ashamed and too many feelings more that I couldn't put a name. I needed to talk with God first and my head was steamed already. At the end, I finished feeling a bit more miserable than another feeling.

My friend has chronic leukaemia for 16 years and she decided that wouldn't give her life up and she would arrange fall in love with a good guy and have three kids. Do you know how many problems she had having babies with her disease? She went on knowing the problems but there she is, living with her husband and her three beautiful and healthy kids. Thank God.

I was thinking how simple my life is, my life as a simple healthy mortal. I take my life for granted simply I don't have such problems or any other and seems I can being lazy and waste my life in rubbish while other people, like my friend, know that never will see their dreams come true because their lives will be taken before mine. These people don't waste their lives on rubbish because they know the worth of living. Shame on me. What are you doing with your life? What are you thinking about your lifestyle?

I woke up every morning and I get mad at my husband or I can complain all day along about any rubbish because I'm sure enough that I'll have tomorrow for solving my problems. If I was like my friend, just open my eyes every morning would be put my kneel down and I would give thanks and thanks again and again. I would worth every argues with my husband and I would solve it instantly that very moment. I wouldn't get angry so easily for every rubbish around me and I would try to smile every minute. I would swat every negative thought, I would forgive without pride and in the end, my life would be better than is now.

Then, do I wish to get any disease? No, of course, I don't but I'd like to wake up every morning giving thanks for my life, kissing my husband until getting his frustration. I would do my best at everybody and put aside foolishness easily because to me, every day counts as if it was the last day of my life. I'm not meaning live the life in a bad way like contaminating my body or life my living in a selfish way. I mean, live my life giving and giving. Giving time to God and being thankful. Giving to my husband my love and watering it. Giving good thoughts to my family and friends. Giving love and breaking misunderstanding apart and helping the needed people. Without a doubt, we would all live better, without struggles, madness or living like a divided family.

Celebrate the life, but not just you. Encourage more people with you to celebrate the life but never in a selfish way. Be happy and make happiness.

It's winter.

 What treasure waits within Your scars
This gift of freedom gold can't buy
I bought the world and sold my heart
You traded heaven to have me again.

[Hillsong -Touch the sky]

It's winter here and too many things are happening in my life. New problems that it seems like old ones. I felt lonely and I wanted to give everything up. I didn’t  see myself pulling this time off. I didn’t  want to celebrate happy days, I was gloomy, I missed so much my family. I thought that if I didn’t have my family by my side I didn’t want to celebrate anything. I understood something, part of that family was with me already, so I was blind and I was watching the pain in my other part of my family. God remembers me again something important. I had my family right here, my loving husband will never abandon me but maybe I was who want to be apart from him because of my sadness. I had right reasons, I could celebrate whatever I wanted and that’s what I did. To celebrate my days with him and it was unforgettable and wonderful. I didn’t  think it could be like it was. God tore that veil covering my eyes and I saw it there, smiling me and led me again. 

It was to be a sad Christmas time, I didn’t even think about it. I was surrounded by problems more and more and I was disposed to forget every beautiful day. I was going to pretend that everything was okay, my face was reflecting my bad condition and I was taking everything for granted. After taking a good decision, in my opinion, this Christmas time will be almost perfect also my feelings are changing better and better and the more I think about my situation, the less I care about. What do I have a God for? He’s more powerful and smarter than me. I’d better let myself on his hand and trust more in who knows what is good for me. 

This Christmas time is going to be wonderful. I made new things, getting back things I used to love and not just inside my family, out of them something that I didn’t expect is holding me up. I think I like that. I changed the way I was seeing my life and now I’m seeing everything completely different. I see this month with God’s eyes and it seems something I want to hold always. It’s something that warms my heart. This year is about to finish but I’m starting something new again, something that I want to uphold near me. I’m not going to wish that I could live like this ever, I’m going to work for it, I could get used to this so that I don’t forget this feeling.  I’d rather think that God has something new for me for the next year. I love that and the same time I’m afraid for the unknown.   

Murder is easy by Agatha Christie

 It's raining and thundering, like a dream...
 I'm listening to the odd and far of the sound of the falling water.
 I feel like to read Harry Potter.
 I have my cup of chamomille warming my hands
 Big day today.

I'm always waiting for reading books from Agatha Christie but, do you know what is I waiting the most? I'm always waiting for reading books from Hercule Poirot but not this time. Actually, I'm reading Agatha's book in chronological order and my next book was "Hercule Poirot's Christmas" and we're still in summer... bummer.
So I took that book, put it aside and I'll save it for winter. I want to read that book in the middle of the cold and sharp winter. So! Here we are with the next book in this order. Murder is easy:

Luke Fitzwilliam was on the train with an old woman listening to her wild story about how easy is murder when you have murdered four people already. This old woman talks to Luke about the next murder on someone named Dr. Humbleby but Luke thinks that old woman is a bit crazy. When he saw in the newspaper that that man is dead Luke open his eyes and that old woman became an object of his curiosity.

I love how often, Agatha is capable of to mingle the crime and the love in the same book creating from something terrible as is pluck the life from someone, something good and beautiful as is the birth of the love between a man and a woman. It’s like sowing the most beautiful flowers on a gravelled path. It’s seems something impossible but to God nothing is impossible.

The beginning was, in my opinion, a little slow and even I got a bit bored but of course, I didn’t give the book up and I went on with the story. I enjoyed the last chapters the most. That way to unearth the murderer as the last murder is revealed. I never know who the bad guy is when I take a book from Agatha; this is something I’m sure of. You know those people who always know who the murder is? I don’t know how they know that! The more I read books from this woman, the less I know who the bad guy could be.

Well, better for me because in that way I always get the surprise and I like being surprised.